


txt

by willneverbeordinary



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Ear Biscuits 160, Epistolary, In the begining, Rating May Change, Texting, Well - Freeform, a teensy bit flirty, and then
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-07-17 16:26:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16099388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willneverbeordinary/pseuds/willneverbeordinary
Summary: They never used text messages for anything that wasn't business related until Link changing the subject of a semi-work related text conversation by asking Rhett "How was the concert last night?" After that, they find themselves having more text conversations.





	1. Chapter 1

**iMessage**

**Fri, Sep 21, 10:15 pm**

 

What are you doing?

 

That sounds like a come-on line, Neal.

 

Oh

 

I'm relaxing. Douchebaggery.

 

You're in the hot tub? Me too!

 

[Photo]

Lambic. It's a Belgian sour ale. It's brewed with wild yeast and exposed

to microbes. It can contain over 80 microorganisms

 

Did you just Wikipedia that?

 

No I already knew it.

 

Oh. I did. It says all that on Wikipedia

 

The internet has ruined my chances of seeming really smart, everyone

can google everything I've googled. Before google you would have had

to read a freaking book to know that! I would have been so smart!

 

We did know each other before Google you jerk and I still

thought you were a know-it-all

 

**10:30 PM**

 

Can you take photos underwater with this phone?

I'm Wikipedia-ing that

Nvm Wikipedia didn't know. Google knew, it showed me an article.

 

[Photo]

:)

 

[Photo]

 

You're alone too, huh? ;)

 

don't ever send a winky face again

 

Sry?

 

I need to teach you how to use smilies

 

To answer you're question; yes, I am alone. The boys are in their bedrooms.

They should be sleeping, but Shep is probably on his phone and I'll have to

take it from him when I go to bed.

 

Lando and Lincoln are like me, they can sleep anytime, anywhere. As soon

as they get in bed they’re out like lights! Lily stays up and reads. Christy

was here but you know she's not a night person.

 

jessie is watching something on netflix

 

**10:45 PM**

 

Do you think I would like that Lambic stuff?

 

Don't know. Did you like the sour ale we had on Odd Let's Drink It?

 

Yeah I did

 

I think you would like this

 

Buy some for me?

Wait are they expensive?

 

A little. You can come over and try one if you want before you buy any

 

Now??

 

I didn't mean now.

What do you want to come over now?

 

Well. It's late. And I'm nekked.

 

…

Didn't need to know that. I don't understand, you wouldn't have driven

here in your swim trunks anyway? Put some clothes on, Neal!

 

That's true I didn't think about that :p

 

How did that not occur to you?

 

**11:05 PM**

 

You could come over tomorrow? If you want to try the Lambic

 

**11:15 PM**

 

Noon? Jessie will be home at 5pm.

 

**11:23 PM**

 

Rain check? I know you’re free Sunday next weekend.

 

Sorry I went for a few laps in the pool. Tomorrow is good.

 

thought you had fallen asleep or something

 

Not yet.

 

**11:47**

 

Going to bed now. Goodnight:)

 

Are the Lambic strong btw? Will I be okay drive??

 

you can stay in the guestroom if you need to

 

You know what? Prepare the guest bed, good buddy! I'm going to stay over :)

 

[thumbs up]

 

**iMessage**

**Sat, Sep 22, 12:02 AM**

 

Okay now I'm in bed! I'll text you tomorrow!

 

night

[photo]

 

;)

 

no winkyfaces man!

 

If you stop sending me photos of you in bed you’ve got a deal, brother!

 

you love them

Yeah right you got me!

See you tomorrow


	2. Chapter 2

**iMessage**

**Sun, Sep 23, 01:20 am**

 

Are you awake?

 

That's a ridiculous text to send.

 

You're right. Sry

 

Did you want anything?

 

Not really

 

Can't sleep?

 

I can always sleep. Anytime, any place

 

I know that so why are we texting right now?

 

Too much beer?

 

Alcohol mimics GABA which is an inhibitor and binds to GABA receptors 

 

And that means what exactly?

 

Beer makes you sleepy

 

It also makes you send texts for no good reason

 

That's the norepinephrine that causes lowered inhibition that's also an effect

 

Noted

 

**01:30**

 

if you need a glass of water just get it from the kitchen you're not gonna

wake anyone

 

I'm fine thank you :)

 

I'm getting water anyway I can't sleep anyway

 

Okay. Why are you telling me again?

 

was just trying to be nice

 

**01:33**

 

Are you in the kitchen? Can I get a peanut butter sandwich?

Pretty please?

 

Pleeeeease? 

 

I won't text anymore I'll let you sleep I promise

 

sure

 

Thank you! :D

 

**02:23**

 

can't sleep

 

I guess you could sleep

 

I had fun today we should do this more often

 

you're free sunday so your place? maybe you have some beer I haven't tried.

I have tried a lot but you always get on me how I pour it and all so who knows

you might surprise me Neal

 

you know this whole texting thing is probably gonna make me dream of you

when I fall asleep

 

**02:35**

 

I didn't mean “dream of you” like that I just mean you're in my dreams a lot

 

**02:50**

 

disregard those last two messages

 

and don't bring it up tomorrow at breakfast or I'll kick your ass Neal!

 

**Sun, Sept 23, 07:16 am**

 

So. Did you dream of me? ;)

 

**Mon, Sept 24, 06:00**

 

Remember that we're not carpooling today

 

I remember

 

**2:36 pm**

 

Are you working from a coffee shop the rest of the day?

 

Yep

 

Tomorrow afternoon as well?

 

Probably

 

Well. Can we do lunch tomorrow?

 

 

Why, you miss me or something? ;)

 

No. Just a work lunch get over yourself. And what happened to the

“no winky-face” rule?

 

That rule is only for you I can send how many ;) I want


	3. Chapter 3

**iMessage**

**Thurs, Oct 9, 11:07 AM**

 

We're practising our set

for NC state fair today

right?

 

So… Where are you?

 

sorry be right there

forgot the time!

 

**08:23 PM**

 

Practice went well

 

Yeah :)

 

if I send you a photo

of what I'm wearing to the

fair will it end up on

twitter again…

 

I swear I won't post

anything you text to

Twitter again. But, you

have to admit that it

was funny!

 

It wasn't! It was in a private

conversation and you betrayed

the code of private messaging!

 

Dramatic!

 

I am sorry and I do

promise it won't happen

again. (But you might

want to promise not to

post anymore photos

of me sleeping.)

 

That's different!

 

**11:13 PM**

 

it's funny and people think

it's cute it's not the same

 

**06:03 AM**

 

So you're saying

you're taking my

picture because

you think I’m cute ;)

 

Not what I said. People

think so, I didn't say I think

so

 

“People” huh

 

Don't get ideas. I will

friend text with you

I am not text flirting

 

Really? Because it

kinda looks a little

like you're flirting with

me McLaughlin. ;)

 

**Thurs, Oct 11, 08:27 PM**

 

Happy birthday, Rhett!

 

Thank you!

 

[ Did you see the birthday ](https://twitter.com/linklamont/status/1050438552599687168)

[ tweet? ](https://twitter.com/linklamont/status/1050438552599687168)

 

**08:42 PM**

 

Pro tip huh?

 

Yup

 

[Thumbs up]

 

I had to say something

about it!

 

Was I making things awkward?

 

No, the thing about folding

tees saved it

 

[Thumbs up]

 

I really did appreciate it

 

xoxo

 

I can't decide if that's better

or worse than the ;)

 

I'm signing all my texts like

that from now on!

xoxo gossip Link

 

Please don't

 

xoxo gossip Link

 

**Fri, Oct 12, 11:47 PM**

 

We did a great show

 

Go to sleep, Rhett!

 

It was pretty awesome.

I'm glad we did that.

Thanks for making music

with me still, even at 40.

  


Of course.

It was pretty awesome.

 

You know I appreciate

you a lot right?

 

just say “love” if you mean

love come on man it's 2018

or whatever the kids say

 

Fine. Love you.

 

Love you, too.

 

**Sat, Oct 13, 06:22 AM**

 

They really liked our show

 

Are you basing your

self worth on what people

on the internet are saying

again?

 

No

 

Stop that.

 

No

 

Dork

 

Yeah, but you love me

 

Yes, but stop trying to

make me say it!

 

Never

 

Whatever.

Breakfast?

 

Yes! give me 5 min

 

:)


	4. Chapter 4

**iMessage**

**Tue, Oct 23, 11:08 PM**

 

Pollination!

 

Alright stop that now!

 

[Bee and flower emoticons]

Pollinate

 

I'm serious stop

 

pollination  
/pɒlɪˈneɪʃ(ə)n/  
noun  
the transfer of pollen to

a stigma, ovule, flower,

or plant to allow fertilization.  
"the flowers depend

on bees for pollination"

 

Go pollinate with your

wife stop texting me!

 

Yes sir

I'm telling her it was

your idea by the way

 

No you're not.

 

**iMessage**

**Tue, Oct 23, 11:22 PM**

**Jessie McLaughlin**

 

Do you want me

to take his phone

away? ;D

 

Please!

 

He wants to tell you

something hold on

 

Jessie don't hand

over the phone

 

POLLINATE!

 

SERIOUSLY?!

 

**iMessage**

**Wen, Oct 24, 10:34 AM**

**Rhett**

 

Hey Rhett?

 

What?

 

Wanna pollinate? ;)

 

Huh? Nothing to say now?

 

Okay. I won't keep torturing you.

 

Good

 

You had a few drinks huh!

How's your head?

 

Haven't had any complaints

 

That's it, I'm not texting

with you anymore

 

yeah you will

 

Nope!

 

yeah you will

 

oh the silent treatment huh Neal?

 

I think you still read the texts

maybe it's important?

maybe Rhett isn't being

an ass maybe it's something

about work this time?

 

Nope. Just my loving friendship

in text form.

 

**10:42 AM**

 

Another not important text!

 

**11:08 AM**

 

Hey Link, I'm eating peanut butter!

[photo]

[Rhett with a spoon of peanut butter]

 

**11:21 AM**

 

Now I'm taking a shower

[Photo]

[Rhett taking a photo in the mirror,

wearing just a towel]

 

[Photo]

[Rhett showing a

little peak of his butt]

Ops! towel slip!

 

If you aren't sending

nudes don't bother!

 

Hah gotcha!

 

So. Nudes?

**12:02 PM**

 

[Photo]

[Rhett sitting naked on the bed,

cross-legged, a pillow on his lap]

 

You did it what the hell!

 

you asked

 

I didn't think you

actually would you

weirdo!

 

That's interesting

 

What is interesting?

 

That you said you didn't

think I would do it instead

of saying you were just

joking

 

Maybe I wasn't joking?

 

But you don't really want

to see me naked for real right

 

I don't think I should

answer that

 

very funny

 

I'm not joking around

 

This really isn't funny.

 

See this is what happens

when we change the

parameters of our friendship!

 

You were the one who

stared texting in the

first place!

 

And it was a bad idea!

 

Ok

 

Only business related

texts from now on!

 

that's fine by me

I wasn't the one who wanted

to talk via texts anyway

 

**8:33 PM**

 

Hey Rhett?

 

**8:40 PM**

 

You're not answering

that's okay. I'm sorry.

I want to keep friend

texting with you

 

**11:57 PM**

Because I'm an amazing

friend I accept your apology

 

**12:17 AM**

 

no xoxo or winky-face?

I guess you're asleep

 

I'm picking you up tomorrow.

I'm listening to a new audiobook

so this time you won't have to

start listening in the middle

of a book! Maybe you can

listen to it too. And then we

can keep listening to it

separately and then when

we carpool we'd be listening to

the same book!

 

Good night, buddy.

Or good morning!

 

**3:00 AM**

We can listen to your

audiobook if you want.

Love you

 

**6:00 AM**

 

Did you get up in the middle

of the night?

 

I drink so much water

I gotta get up at night

and pee!

 

I think that just means you're

and old man now

 

Har har

 

**6:31 AM**

 

I'm outside

 

xoxo

 

**iMessage**

**Wen, Nov 1, 08:07 PM**

 

You need to come over

 

Why? Are you ok?

Is someone hurt?

Do you or the kids

need a hospital??

 

**8:13 PM**

Rhett!

 

Nothing is wrong

I'm bored

Watch Netflix

documentaries

with me!

 

 

You scared me!

 

If this is some kind

of “Netflix and chill”

(I do know what it

means now thank you

very much) I am not

coming over

 

 

Come on you know me

 

Exactly

 

No it's not “Netflix and chill”

I mean literally watching

documentaries on Netflix

 

Well. Do you have

beer and snacks?

 

Again, it's like you don't

event know me!

 

Stouts? Or only sour stuff?

 

I don't only have Lambic.

I have lager and weißbier

 

I'm defo bringing stout

 

What's wrong with what

I have?

 

Nothing ;)

 

Do you want to sleep over?

 

Maybe

 

Jessie isn't here

 

That's a little too

“come over my

parents aren't

home” don't you

think?

 

No I meant you won't

inconvenience anyone

you could sleep here

it's not a problem

 

Ok as long as

you're not trying

to get me into bed!

**Nov 2, 10:13 PM**

 

Are we going to

talk at all about me

and you in your bed?

 

**10:34 PM**

what is there to talk

about all we did was

sleep

 

Well. I would call

what we did cuddling

I should know, I've

taken cuddle lessons

from a cuddling pro

 

Cuddle Queen Jean?

 

Yes?

 

Did you go to her classes?

 

No you jerk she was

on GMM remember?

 

I know I kinda was there

too

 

Well stop changing

the subject!

 

It's not really okay

is it? I feel weird.

The pillow smelled

like her

 

Of course it did it's her

pillow and you were

supposed to sleep

in the guest bed

 

I know that!

 

You fell asleep talking

we didn't do anything

wrong

 

We fell asleep cuddling

 

We're fine okay?

Trust me?

 

Okay

 

**11:07 PM**

 

The pillow smells like you now

 

It does?

 

Yeah

 

You'll change the

bed before she

comes home right?

 

Why?

 

Because it's weird!

If the bed smells like me?

 

Don't worry it will wear off

 

Please just change it?

 

If it makes you feel better

 

It will thank you

I just don't want her

to come home and

notice and get the

wrong idea. Ideas

like that they get stuck

in your head and you

can't unthink them.

I don't want to do that

to Jessie

 

I promise I'll change it

 

But I will miss the smell

 

She'll be home soon

and you won't have

to miss it anymore!

 

Yeah but I wasn't talking

about her

 

**11:51 PM**

 

Come over?

 

It's late

 

That's not a no

 

you want to come over

 

Of course I do

But I was there yesterday

How am I gonna explain

another impromptu sleepover

to Christy? And what happened

to “I like being alone”?

 

Just because I like being

alone doesn't mean I

can't want company

 

Jessie will be home

soon hang in there

buddy

 

But you could be here now

 

I really can't

 

Yeah you can we can work

from home and carpool in

after lunch

 

I'm going to bed now

I'll see you at the

office tomorrow.

Goodnight

 


	5. Chapter 5

**iMessage**

**Sat, Dec 1, 8:16 PM**

 

[ https://youtu.be/eNtK6jx9y4A ](https://youtu.be/eNtK6jx9y4A)

 

Didn't you tweet

that today?

 

Yes

 

Ok

 

?

 

What do you

mean “?”

 

What do you think?

You like the song?

 

No

 

No?

 

Well. It's good. It's

just, you're not texting

it at me, right?

 

I don't understand,

what do you mean

“at” you?

  


I mean. The lyrics?

The whole “wanna kiss

you” part of the song?

You're not dropping hints

with lyrics are you?

 

like I'd want to kiss you

get over yourself

 

“It takes everything I got

not to text”?

 

What?

 

“all my bedsheets

smell like you”?

 

you're just quoting the

song are you trying to

say something because

I don't know what you're

getting at

 

You said your pillow

smelled like me

remember?

 

You started that conversation

so what's your point?

  


Okay so you just sent

me a cool song, that's it?

Just like the mixtapes

huh?

 

Exactly. Now you get it.

 

I get it

Not sure you do

  


What's that even mean?

 

Nothing. Forget it.

 

**iMessage**

**Tue, Dec 25, 11:03 PM**

  


Merry Christmas, Link

 

Merry Christmas, Rhett

xoxo

 

**iMessage**

**Sun, Jan 6, 1:26 AM**

 

So, the HBO Golden Globes

after party. That went well. Right?

 

And hey, you're a social butterfly!

You did a lot better this time

 

**1:33 AM**

 

A sleeping butterfly

 

I can't sleep how can

you sleep? Don't you

stay up thinking about

every interaction and

every little thing you said?

 

**1:37 AM**

 

I'm thinking about every

little thing you said

 

One of us has to!

 

**2:02 AM**

 

It's good that you do that

you talk to people I don't like

people this is a good strategy

 

**2:16 AM**

 

I think we did alright this time

No disaster conversations

You did pretty good, brother!

 

**iMessage**

**Mon, Jan 7, 8:07 AM**

 

I think I did great ;)

 

That's what I said!

 

Well, not really.

But that's okay

I appreciate your

attempt at being nice

 

Are you upset with me now?

I can't tell

  


No, not at all.

 

You shouldn't be

I was being nice

 

I'm not upset.

 

Yeah ok

 

[thumbs up emoji]

 

[thumbs up emoji]

 

**iMessage**

**Thu, Jan 24, 8:17 PM**

 

Do I look gay?

 

How am I supposed

to answer that?

 

What do you mean?

 

Think about it

 

Oh

 

**8:27 PM**

 

I know it's not an

insult. I didn't mean

that it's a bad thing

 

It's not a bad thing.

You have a Tan France

thing going on with

your hair and

he's really stylish.

So that's not bad?

 

You're saying I'm stylish?

  


Sure am

  


Thank you!

  


And you know Try Guys Eugene?

 

Yeah?

 

He's pretty cool

  


He is. Wait, is he gay?

  


Something like that?

He's not straight anyway

  


Oh ok! So. I'm cool? ;)

  


Sometimes

  


I'll take it!

  


Was it because of LTAT?

 

Yeah. It's always me?

You were in a pink jacket

and somehow I'm the

gay one I don't get it

 

Don't know man

 

Maybe it's because I'm

so cool and stylish and

handsome ;)

 

Didn't say ‘handsome’

 

But I am ;)

 

That can be your reality

 

Oh come now, tell me

I'm handsome!

 

No

 

Devilishly handsome

 

If you didn't already have

glasses I'd tell you that you

need glasses brother

 

You're just jealous that

I'm the handsome guy

everyone wants to be

friends with

 

Oh so now we've gone

from gay guy best friend

material to mean handsome

guy who's popular?

 

Don't get jealous

 

I'm not

 

You're still my best friend

 

 

Of course I am

Lucky you

 

Lucky me?

 

Yeah, who has a friend

like me! Who is so smart

and good looking and

awesome

 

Gimme a break!

 

What? You don't want to

admit I'm awesome?

 

I'll admit that you're

good looking but a

know-it-all! Take it

or leave it!

  


So you think I'm

good looking?

 

Shut up

 

If I say that you're handsome,

will you admit that I'm smart?

 

How about you admit

that I'm smart?

 

You're not though

 

You're a jerk

 

You can't be smart, you're

still friends with me. You must

be a sucker

 

[Laughing emoji]

Yeah, that's true

 

At least you're handsome

you got that going for you

 

Yeah I do!

So you're fishing

for compliments now?

 

Nope, you know me, I have

so much confidence and no

need for validation from anyone

 

Mhm.

You're so smart, Rhett

So good looking

Wow you're so awesome

 

Wow I can almost pretend

you mean it

 

You are pretty smart.

You're just insufferable

a lot of times

 

Thanks, what a compliment

 

Fine. You want heartfelt?

 

I was just kidding

I don't need you

to compliment me

 

Too late!

 

No one else makes me

laugh the way you do.

You have grand ideas

and crazy plans. I like

listening to you talk.

I like your clothes.

I like your style.

 

And I like your beard ;)

 

How's that for compliments!

 

Rhett?

  


You can't say things

like that

  


Why not? It made you

happy, didn't it?

 

It does but you can't just

text a guy things like that

  


Why not?

  


Because

 

Because what?

 

Because it's just not

something you text

your friend

 

Why can't I text that?

 

Are you joking right now?

 

I'm not joking.

Look, I know you

think that's not friends-

territory but friends do

compliment each other.

We can be those kinda

friends who give each

other compliments.

 

I'm just not comfortable

getting texts from you

where you say things

like you like my beard

 

But making me say it

when we took the lie

detector test was fine?

 

That was for entertainment

purposes! It's different!

 

Just accept that your

friend likes your beard. ;)

 

I will stop texting you

 

No, you won't.

Tell me something

you like about me

 

Nope. That is never

happening.

 

My eyes?

 

Oh, I know, my

winning smile!

 

No, my hair, right?

You said you liked

my hair during the

lie detector test, can't

deny it!

 

I like your boots

 

Har har

 

;)

 

I see what you're

trying to do

 

Oh, you do, do you?

 

And it's not gonna work.

 

Are you sure?

 

 

Absolutely sure.

 

What if I tell you I love you?

 

 

Do it, see what happens

 

 

You asked for it!

I love you, Link.

 

 

I love you too, Rhett.

I really do

 

And you should tell me

you love me next time

we see each other.

 

 

that is a bad idea

 

Tell me, and let's find out.


	6. Chapter 6

**iMessage**

**Thurs, Feb 14, 10:28 PM**

 Happy Valentine's Day,

Link!

 

Have you become

one of those people

who texts even though

you're in the same room?

 

No

 

You're not 15 remember

 

Duh

 

You're ooooold

 

Thanks for the reminder

 

Couldn't help it, you're

making it too easy. 

But hey, think about

how many valentine's

we've known each other!

And we're spending it

together this year!

Happy Valentine's Day

xoxo

 

Love you

 

You really should say

that to me and not just

type it. But I love you too


End file.
